My due date is July 26th. Today is July 17th. Am I ready to bring a baby home?
Clearly, the answer is no. Pictured on the right is the bassinet portion of my baby’s pack and play, where he will be sleeping upon his homecoming, appropriately being used as a clothing drawer. You might think, “That’s not so bad, at least you washed the baby’s clothes!” And you would be thinking wrong. Because I didn’t wash my baby’s clothes. My husband did.
Moving on, I must warn you that the photo above is not the worst of what’s to come. Below, you will witness a horror so real and so vile that I will be shunned by the entire mommy blog community. Proceed with caution.
Yes. Yes, that is what you’re looking at: a naked boppy pillow, sprawled out and exposed on an undecorated baby mattress that is held by crib rails which are being used as a clothing racks.
But it gets worse. Much worse. That crib is in our bedroom.
Yes, it’s true. My baby does not have his own room. Even if I get everything done, I will never be able to Instagram photos of my son’s nursery (because he doesn’t have one).
And, finally, for the worst parental fail of all, the closet.
This is a closet shared by my husband, myself, and my baby. It holds my clothes, my husband’s clothes, and no baby clothes (but baby diapers, accessories, monitors, toys, and bath).
HOW WILL WE EVER SURVIVE?