1. Taking a morning stroll with my baby. Every day, I wake up with the grand idea that today will be the day I take a crisp, morning walk while pushing my sleeping baby in a stroller. The problem? I have no idea where my sneakers are, and the DKNY sneaker-flats, while cute, are totally not appropriate for walking.
2. Charge my iPhone. If you’ve tried to get in touch with my lately, it probably hasn’t happened. You’ll leave a message, right? (Wrong).
3. Remember that there is a meal called “lunch”. Every day, I forget to eat between the hours of noon and 11PM. So, maybe I should remember there’s a thing called “dinner”, too, and it’s typically done at a table with silverware. Not on a featherbed. Because, while comfortable, sometimes eating in bed while taking care of a poop monster can get a little messy. And by little I mean my featherbed now smells like tomato soup.
4. Finish a cup of hot coffee. Some days, I don’t even get to start one. So, maybe this list should say “start a cup of coffee daily”. Or maybe I should just get smaller cups.
5. Read something other than the baby boards. I did this thing where I majored in English and studied Shakespeare at Oxford because I loved reading so much. When was the last time I read a book? No, I won’t give you the “I don’t even remember” answer. Because I do. I do remember. The last time I actually read a physical book in its entirety: senior year of college.
I’d like to end this post by sharing that it took me two days to complete this minuscule blip on the Internet. In fact, as I was writing, I forgot my name, how old I was, and I could not remember if I had eaten anything besides an avocado in the past four days.