“I really think it’s crazy, that we hit our kids, it really is. Here’s the crazy thing about it, kids are the only people in the world, that you’re allowed to hit. Do you realize that? They’re the most vulnerable and they’re the most destroyed by being hit, but it’s totally okay to hit them. And they’re the only ones! If you hit a dog, they fucking will put you in jail for that shit. You can’t hit a person unless you can prove that they were trying to kill you, but a little tiny person with a head this big that trusts you implicitly? Fuck them, who gives a shit?” – Louis C.K.
As a birth club group owner for BabyCenter, I read a lot of posts on crazy topics. Some of the most insane discussions are the ones that are off topic, yes. But, most often, the posts that get my blood boiling are the ones that are absolutely related to pregnancy and parenting – topics like abortion, car seats, and, yes, spanking.
Spanking is one of those topics that comes up over and over again. It’s not something that is unique to the birth board I monitor, or even unique to birth boards at all. There are many parenting blogs covering the topic, television doctors sharing their views, journalists reporting on domestic abuse, and doctors, psychologists, and students conducting research on the effects of spanking children. Despite numerous studies (and, TBH, common sense) showing devastating effects of spanking, classless assholes still insist on arguing the pro-spanking side because “my parents did it and I turned out fine,” “today’s kids need a slap on the ass,” “back in my day…” and, my favorite, “spanking is not the same as hitting. You don’t spank in anger.” And, to all of these arguments, I call bullshit.
Spanking is simply not okay. Adults should never hit children. Period.
Because, really? First of all, you’re the adult. If you can’t control your temper and physical actions, you need to leave the room – not touch your child’s butt.
Second, hitting or “spanking” your child will not teach respect; it will teach obedience. That is not the same thing as respect. Obedience is what you want out of the family dog. Your child is not the family dog. Your child is a person with feelings and a brain – a brain that is rapidly developing and building its foundation based on his/her experience. Molding a child with violence is horrific because your children most likely won’t remember the “lesson” you tried to smack into them; they will remember that you, quite literally, beat their asses.
I’m sick of hearing “I don’t spank, but I don’t judge parents who do.” Bullshit. I judge parents who hit their children. I judge those people hard. Because, even though my son is still a “baby”, I know how hard it is to be a parent. I also know what it’s like to be in charge of people who do not listen. I know how difficult it is to feel “out of control” when you’re accountable for someone’s behavior and safety. But anxiety and anger are never good reasons for violence. Yes, spanking is violent. And if you want to argue that spanking is not violent, I do judge you. You deserve to be corrected. But, don’t worry, I’m not going to spank you over it (and, quite frankly, isn’t it ironic how angry pro-spankers get about words against spanking? Shouldn’t that show how powerful a conversation can be versus an ass beating?).
Bottom line: don’t hit your kids. They’ll love you for it.