1. Your friends invite you out, and instead of thinking "YAY! Girls night!" you start doing a cost-benefit analysis that looks something like this: Time getting ready + X hours of enjoyment ÷ drinks consumed = not enough fun to make the hangover worth it. 2. Photos of people without children having "fun" don't make you jealous; they make you tired. 3. Before you put … [Read more...] about 10 Ways You Know You’re a Total “Mom”
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What You Didn’t Expect When You Were Expecting
Last night, Clark puked on my vagina. Yes, you read that correctly. My 12 week old baby was sitting up (with support) on my lap, when he decided to vomit all over my yoga pants, and the liquid seeped through my underwear and was touching my lady parts. Needless to say, this is something I definitely did not expect when I was pregnant. I thought What to Expect When You're … [Read more...] about What You Didn’t Expect When You Were Expecting
Parenting Hack: How to Warm a Bottle and Get Your Caffeine Fix at the Same Time
As parents of tiny humans, we all know how difficult it is to get the day started. It's especially hard when you have a little person with an attitude like this: I mean, how exactly am I supposed to get ANYTHING done when something so cute and so sassy demands my attention? Well, it's a challenge. But there are things that need to be done. Like eating. Cleaning. Crying. … [Read more...] about Parenting Hack: How to Warm a Bottle and Get Your Caffeine Fix at the Same Time
My Baby Has Two Eye Colors: Will It Change or Is He a Chimera?
Over the past few weeks, Munchkin's features have become increasingly prominent. One of those features, of course, is his eyes. Every new parent wonders, "What color will my child's eyes be?" And it's a natural question to ask, since infant's eyes can change up to 9 months of age. But, Munchkin's eyes are already different than most babies - eye color wonder aside. You see, … [Read more...] about My Baby Has Two Eye Colors: Will It Change or Is He a Chimera?
When I Finally Felt Like a “Mom”
Today's the day. I finally felt like a total "mom". And I felt this way when I was all by myself. In my car. Alone. On my way to the grocery store. When I had a seriously devious thought. And I went through with it. Brace yourselves for what I did on my way to Trader Joe's. It's not for the faint of heart: Have you caught your breath yet? Yes, I went to Starbucks on my … [Read more...] about When I Finally Felt Like a “Mom”