1. Your friends invite you out, and instead of thinking "YAY! Girls night!" you start doing a cost-benefit analysis that looks something like this: Time getting ready + X hours of enjoyment ÷ drinks consumed = not enough fun to make the hangover worth it. 2. Photos of people … [Read more...] about 10 Ways You Know You’re a Total “Mom”
Last night, Clark puked on my vagina. Yes, you read that correctly. My 12 week old baby was sitting up (with support) on my lap, when he decided to vomit all over my yoga pants, and the liquid seeped through my underwear and was touching my lady parts. Needless to say, this is … [Read more...] about What You Didn’t Expect When You Were Expecting
As parents of tiny humans, we all know how difficult it is to get the day started. It's especially hard when you have a little person with an attitude like this:I mean, how exactly am I supposed to get ANYTHING done when something so cute and so sassy demands my … [Read more...] about Parenting Hack: How to Warm a Bottle and Get Your Caffeine Fix at the Same Time
Over the past few weeks, Munchkin's features have become increasingly prominent. One of those features, of course, is his eyes. Every new parent wonders, "What color will my child's eyes be?" And it's a natural question to ask, since infant's eyes can change up to 9 months of … [Read more...] about My Baby Has Two Eye Colors: Will It Change or Is He a Chimera?
Today's the day. I finally felt like a total "mom". And I felt this way when I was all by myself. In my car. Alone. On my way to the grocery store. When I had a seriously devious thought. And I went through with it. Brace yourselves for what I did on my way to Trader Joe's. It's … [Read more...] about When I Finally Felt Like a “Mom”